What is a “testimony”? Simply put, it’s Christian-ese for “What God has done for me!” I’d prefer to characterize a testimony as “look what did God do to me to change such a wicked human being!”My testimony starts 25 years ago. My friend and workmate John Pinkney, talked incessantly about Jesus, why I need him, what I should do about it. John’s a godly man and I regret that I treated him like dirt. I’m sure he understands that I was doing that out of ignorance and self-righteousness. But all that time my conscience “bore witness” that what he was saying was true, and that was my “self-defense mechanism” against it. I didn’t think a lot about religion for many years.
Fast forward to 2001; I meet my wife who is a Christian. She insisted that I attend church. I refused for a time but, I went just to appease her. We chose a very large and well known church in San Diego California where we were living and started to attend. It was nice enough, but even though I liked it; it was still just an action, not an inner change. After a sermon on the book of Philemon, I responded to an alter call. It was all very emotional and I cried. I raised my hand and said “the prayer” and thought I was “good to go” Unfortunately it didn’t involve an emphasis on “the law” and why I’d need to compare myself to it. I realize now, that I’d done nothing more than “accept Jesus.” No inner transformation, no real change that lasts; not a heart change by the Spirit of God. I started off good, I read my bible, I went to church, but I was harboring sin. Oh, don’t get me wrong…my outside looked great, but the inside was as rotten as month old bananas!
Fast forward to October 15 2005; I had been studying the evangelism method called “The way of the Master”. One of the requirements of taking this course is that you watch two videos. One is called “Hell’s best kept secret” and the other is called “True and false conversion”.
So I did.
In these videos, they challenge Christians to “examine themselves” to see that they are “in the faith”. This is biblical and necessary. Well, long story short, I did and I didn’t like what I found. I had none of the earmarks of a Christian. No outward signs that an inward change had occurred. My first thought was to get some “support” from other members of the school, hoping that they’d say; “no problem, you’re a Christian, don’t sweat it.” What do you think they said? Without exception, they said “Repent, and trust Jesus for your salvation”. Some were very “upfront” about it…(you know who you are!)
Hmm….didn’t I do that? No…Remember, I had “chosen Jesus” I had not repented with “godly sorrow” and the bible says that “godly sorrow works repentance”. I had not truly humbled myself before Almighty God, asked His forgiveness, and turned to Jesus as my savior from God’s wrath.
And do you know what?
I STILL didn’t do it. I couldn’t!
It took two weeks of wrestling with my self-righteousness to come to that point. One day, God put my on my face, He showed my my sin and the depth of my own sickness. I cried the tears of sorrow. Sorrow over what I’d done to Him! My Savior! How I had offended Him, and grieved Him!
Thankfully, God granted me repentance to life! Now I realize what the bible means by saying that when you start to trust Jesus for your salvation and repent of your sins, you become a “new man” and that the “old man” passes away”. You have “new desires” and you “love the things you once hated and hate the things you once loved”. These are things I could never say before. I can’t explain it, but this is my evidence that the bible is the inspired word of God. So here I am…telling you my story. What’s yours? Are you a Christian? Maybe you’re a non-Christian and just curious about what this stuff is all about? Go to the links page and click “The good test” link and find out.
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